Fountain of Youth (2025)

Review: written May 2025

No treasure buried here.

Trailers made it seem this could be the next ‘National Treasure’… the latest ‘academics on a quest to find objects of extraordinary or mythical import’ movie. Alas, for all the bombast and action scenes, the laboured attempts at ‘derring-do’, the end result is a barely coherent mess.

Luke Purdue is stealing artwork, and as a result on the run from both the painting s owners, and Interpol. The artwork turns out to be very specific, with hidden clues which lead to.. yes, you guessed it – the Fountain of Youth. These clues lead to Museums, Vienna, Thailand, even the Pyramids, via a notable visit to the sunken Lusitania – in a scene which rather unfortunately evokes memories of Raise The Titanic. Esme (Eiza Gonsalez) is hot on his tail at every turn, with what seems to be intended as a love/hate interest. It’s the closest the movie comes to having an ace up its sleeve, but even her screen presence fails to light this particular fuse.

John Krasinski is a highly watchable and amiable actor, and here he does more of ‘that’ likeable shtick.. but within the role of a thief. An attempt at roguish charm fails to disguise that as written, the character isn’t particularly likable, stealing artwork seemingly on a whim and without remorse, and breezily gassing anyone that gets in the way. He is aided by a completely forgettable team that serve little narrative purpose other than to explain what’s going on every now and again, and his sister, played by Natalie Portman. I say ‘played by’, but for all the gags about breaking out of her shell and ‘having fun again’, Portman’s uncharacteristic lack of chemistry or engagement with either the script or her fellow actors make it appear that fun was the last thing she was actually having on set.

There’s some fun action scenes, and great scenery, and individually the cast are who you think you’d like to see. All together though? A disappointing misfire, which despite all the gloss appears to have never had a polished script.

Alas, watching this particular Fountain of Youth made me feel I’d aged more than just the couple of hours it lasted.