Haunted Mansion (2023)

Review: written Aug 2023

Lacks Spirit

After a few weeks of lengthy and intensely serious movies, I was looking forward to some good natured spookily themed laughs and thrills.

This turned out to be not that.

We meet Ben, a disillusioned tour guide, asked by priest Owen Wilson to help recently widowed Gabby and her son with their new home. They’ve moved to a large mansion, with the plan of turning it into a bed and breakfast business only to find out it is.. yes, you guessed it, haunted. Along the way, further support is accrued from Danny DeVito, Tiffany Haddish and Jamie Lee Curtis (not all of her, just her head.). The team are stuck in the mansion, unable to leave until either they solve the curse, or have their souls taken, which would allow the evil spirit to escape the mansion.

A reasonable effort, plot wise, for a movie based on a thrill ride.. but despite some (ahem) spirited performances from the stellar cast, and some attempts to have a kind of character development in the quiet moments, it’s not enough to camouflage the scattershot direction and lacklustre script. I actually heard someone snoring in the cinema.. easy enough to hear, since there was nary a laugh to hide the noise. The only minor pleasure to be had was spotting the many references to the original ride.

The laughs fall flat (the trailer has the funniest bits), and the scares are muted. Even the special effects are underwhelming. I actually found myself comparing it to the earlier 2003 Eddy Murphy version, and wished I was watching that instead. It’s just hard to figure out how they thought this would appeal to a wide audience. Any audience, in fact. It goes beyond a lack of inspiration, it just feels forced and lacks.. well, it lacks a reason for being.

There might not be much of a queue to get on, but it’s still not worth getting on this particular ride.